Try As I Might
by just-a-random-otaku
Summary: One day, Al sees Winry kiss Ed, and he runs away in jealousy. But what if Ed didn't want the kiss? [One-shot, Elricest]


**Try As I Might**

**By just-a-random-otaku**

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own FullMetal Alchemist, or the characters therein.

**Author's Notes: **Written for Trin, after numerous requests. PWP (Plot, What Plot?), meringue, and Elricest. Enjoy!

**Warnings:** Rated R for sexual scenes. CONTAINS LEMON AND INCEST.

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Alphonse Elric had always been the steady, unflappable brother. He had always been the one that held Ed back when he was feeling homicidal, the one who comforted when his brother collapsed in frustration, the one who could calm any temper or anger. There were very few things which could break his composure.

Yet he'd never had his composure broken so cruelly as it was that morning.

He'd come up the stairs to the library, ducking through the door even though he wasn't a six-foot-tall suit of armour any more, and turned to the desk where Ed usually worked. He expected to see the blonde alchemist scribbling at an array, or snoring on a particularly boring tome. He could wake him, and they would share the plate of biscuits and the hot chocolate that he'd brought.

He didn't expect to see Winry lean down and give Ed a lingering kiss.

His mind blanked, and the plate and cups fell out of his nerveless fingers, shattering unheard.

A flick of his green coat – so like Ed's – and he was gone before either of the two had time to turn.

---

Al sprinted out through the kitchen, barely hearing Pinako's yell at him to come back in time for dinner. He didn't even bother with socks and shoes – he just wanted to get away – as far away as he could.

He ran, running like there was no tomorrow, running as though all the hounds of Hell were after him. He knew he deserved the hounds of Hell – and not just for the sins he'd committed that rewarded him with the metal body he'd only just quitted.

Were they wrong, the feelings that the scene behind him had raised?

_Jealousy. I can't be feeling jealousy,_ he told himself for the millionth time since he'd stumbled down the porch steps and away. _Why should I be jealous? Why should I be jealous of the most natural thing in the world?_

Winry had admitted that she loved the young alchemist. Barely a week ago, Al had come to his brother's room, but paused outside the door when he heard Winry's voice. In trembling tones, she confessed, then waited in expectant silence. After a few seconds – with Ed gape-jawed and clueless as to what to say – she had rushed out of the room.

When Ed had asked why she had done it, Al had told his brother that it was natural to confess your feelings to someone you love.

_The most natural thing in the world – yes, love is the most natural thing in the world,_ his conscience snickered. _And is your love for your brother the most natural thing in the world?_

"Shut up," he snarled, not even realising that he'd said it aloud.

His headlong flight was interrupted by a rock, and he flew, head-over-heels, into a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Ow…" he moaned, sitting up and rubbing his now-bruised shoulder. Then he took stock of his surroundings. He was near the tree that marked the site of the ruins of the old Elric home. _That's odd,_ he thought, wondering what strange coincidences had led him here.

He rose, and went to sit under the bare, fire-scarred tree, perversely wanting to remind himself of the loss – wanting to remind himself of the reason that the two of them had burned their home.

_But we achieved that! At least a little…_ Al recalled the look on Ed's face when they'd woken up, the triumph that they had achieved in getting Al's body back, though not Ed's arm or leg. And then the dismay when the elder boy realised that his automail had been completely shredded by the alchemic reaction.

Al allowed himself a quick chuckle at the chewing-out that Winry had given his brother. But then Winry's lips meeting Ed's interrupted his reverie, and his mouth set in a line of sadness.

Letting go, he slumped, chin meeting the arms curled around his bent-up knees. A light sob wormed its way out his mouth, and he bit his lip in an effort to keep any others making their way up.

_I wish…_ the green-eyed monster of jealousy rose again. _I wish Ed was mine!_

The internal statement shocked him, and he stared unseeingly out across the tumbled bricks, wondering what had prompted such a thought.

---

"Al!" A light tenor voice floated up from behind him, and the short-haired blonde turned in time to see his elder brother slump down beside him. "I've been looking for you."

Al's only response was to continue to stare out over the ruins.

"Look, Al, I need to talk to you," Ed said, a pleading note coming into his voice.

"What's there to talk about?" Al's replied, his voice seemingly neutral, but with an undercurrent of bitterness. "Winry loves you, you love Winry, what's there to explain?"

The younger teenager stood, brushing the dust off the seat of his coat, and he turned back, a falsely sweet smile on his lips. "You two should have a long and happy life together. I'll see you at dinner." Then he turned away again.

But before he could take a step, a pair of arms grabbed him around the shoulders and yanked downwards. Taken off-guard, Al fell, hitting the ground with a light thump. He found himself trapped between Ed's legs, the alchemist's arms wrapped firmly around his shoulders, hands resting on his chest. He wriggled slightly, but succeeded only in getting the older teenager's chest pressed harder up against his back, and the arms wrapping tighter.

"Stay there," growled Ed's voice, nearly in his ear.

"But –" Al tried to protest.

"And shut up." The growl was deeper, and before Al could react, his brother had almost-cruelly grabbed his chin, turning the younger's face to look into his own.

Al's brown eyes stared confusedly up into golden eyes that were blazing with anger and – was it _fear!_

_But what's Ed scared of?_ came the inevitable question. He didn't realise he'd said it aloud, until Ed's gasp and the tightening of his arm around the green-coated young man.

The hard gold softened, and Ed whispered, "I'm scared of you, Al. Of what you'll say, what you'll do. Of the possibility of you leaving."

Al had no idea of what Ed was alluding to. Unless he meant that he _did_ love Winry –

"Al, please listen. Please, hear me out, at least," Ed asked, and then rushed on. "Winry kissed me, I didn't kiss her – I didn't want it – she's like my sister. I don't love her the way I love you."

"And I'm your brother. Of course you love me differently to her," replied Al, sarcasm colouring his tone, and he continued trying to move out of the other's arms, face turning away.

"Al, I _want_ you." Ed's reply was quiet, and his voice was almost husky.

Al's struggles ceased completely. He looked back, searched his brother's face, but he could find no hint of a lie, no hint of deception.

His reaction was disbelief. "You… what!"

"I _want_ you," Ed repeated, his tone turning half-puzzled, half-afraid. "I don't care if you love Winry, I don't care if you hate me for it, I don't care if it's wrong. I want you. I _want_ you." He said it again as if the mere repetition would make the sentence more acceptable.

Al's face was stunned, but his heart was singing. _He feels the same way! He feels the same way!_

Ed, taking the silence to mean disgust, began to shift away, letting his brother go.

"No! Ed! Brother!" Al caught his brother about the shoulders, preventing his movement. Ed looked back at him, startled.

And then Al leaned forwards and kissed him.

For a first kiss it wasn't bad. Al's inexpert lips touched Ed's equally inexperienced lips, and, taken by surprise, both mouths opened. A quick taste of sweetness, and they pulled back, stunned and wondering.

Brown and gold locked, and a long silence opened.

"Did you mean that?" was Ed's question, and for a reply, Al moved forwards again, more confidently this time. His lips met his brother's, and this time, he allowed his tongue to tentatively slip out.

Ed responded eagerly, pulling him closer, touching his tongue to Al's, tasting him. Ed slid his tongue around Al's mouth carefully, seeing what the other would do. A quick, gentle moan came from the short-haired teenager, and he returned the favour.

They pulled back, pausing again to look into each other's eyes. Then Al smiled, a light laugh finding its way up. "I was so very afraid that you didn't want this, Brother. So very afraid."

Ed gave a wry smile, "Me too."

Another kiss passed between them, then Ed fell back onto the soft grass, dragging Al with him. He leaned into the other's shoulder, and kissed the side of his neck.

"You know," he said, his words punctuated with kisses, "I want other things as well."

"Mmmm…" Al groaned as Ed's tongue slid into the sensitive spot just below his ear. "That's goooood…"

Ed snickered lightly. "Oh, I'm going to do much worse when given the opportunity."

"No, I meant that _I_ wanted other things too," Al corrected his brother, breaking away from the tempting tongue, and flipping himself onto his brother's chest, pinning him down.

The braided teenager blinked up at his brother, suddenly disconcerted by the evil grin on the other's face. "Al, what… ooooohhhh…" Al had suddenly leant forwards, laying a line of kisses down his neck. Ed twisted his head, allowing better access… then started as Al inexpertly pulled at the fastening on his black jacket, pushing it back so he could reach his brother's shoulder. Ed wriggled, letting the jacket and the coat over it fall away from his shoulder.

Al continued to play his lips over Ed's shoulder, finding the sensitive spots as if drawn to them. Carefully, his pulled back the other shoulder of the jacket and red coat, tentatively nipping at the skin over the collarbone. He lifted his head carefully, looking down at Ed's face, the half-closed eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Brother, do you…?" He never had the chance to finish the question. The elder sat up, grasping Al's shoulders, and levering the green coat off, exposing his tank top. Al let him, simply content to stare at his brother's face, and –

Al paused, even in his thoughts. He was content to sit here, on his brother's lap, feeling their bodies so close together. It was so secure, so safe, so right. But he could feel a hardness edging up beneath him, and he knew what it was.

"What are you thinking of, Al?" Ed's voice interrupted his thoughts. The older teenager had wrapped his arms around his brother's waist, and lain his head on the other's chest, looking up into Al's face. He was surprised to see Al's blush.

"Ed, you're – you're… I can feel you… you're…" Al couldn't seem to get the words out, though he realised his own body was starting to show the same reaction.

"I told you, Al, I want you," replied Ed, realising what his brother was referring to, his tone utterly serious. His hands edged around from where they wrapped Al's waist, and flickered at the hem of the tank top. Before the younger could say no, Ed had flicked the tank top off over his head, leaving him wearing nothing but his pants.

"Ed…?" Al questioned as Ed reached up to his own shoulders, shedding his coat and jacket. Then he paused, looking up into Al's brown eyes, reading the confusion and almost-fear that lay there.

"Al, listen, I want this, but if you don't… we don't need to…"

_So like Ed… he gives up so much for me…_ was Al's thought. _He wants me… and God knows, I want him… Why else am I so jealous of Winry?_

"No, Ed… I want you too… I've wanted you for too long…" Carefully, he reached out, snagging the tank top, pulling it over his brother's head. Then he lowered his lips to Ed's, kissing him with all the jealousy he'd stored up in himself since Winry had confessed.

Then he pulled away from the so-tempting lips, kissing downwards. He listened, smiling unknowingly, to Ed's groans as he swept over his neck and shoulders. He paused when he reached Ed's chest, then decided on his course of action. He knew that when he touched his own nipples, they felt good… how would it be for Ed?

As soon as his lips touched the small bumps, they hardened, and Ed gasped, falling backwards onto the grass. Al followed, smiling evilly, then proceeded to lave them with his tongue, testing how sensitive they were.

Ed moaned, then as Al licked lower, his closed eyes snapped open, and he caught at Al's waist, rolling over so that the younger teenager was trapped beneath him.

"Al… no fair…" he gasped lightly, his breath coming in pants. The mischievous grin lighting his face completely belied his statement, and his hands pinned his younger brother's shoulders to the ground. Leaning forwards, he proceeded to give Al the same treatment he'd received a bare minute ago.

But he went further.

Al gave a strangled moan as Ed's tongue reached the waistband of his pants. "Ahh… Ed… please…"

"What is it, Al?" Ed's fingers brushed the button of the younger teenager's trousers, but then pulled back as if burnt, as if a sudden thought had occurred to him.

There was a long pause, and then Al's brown eyes, closed in pleasure, inched open.

_Why's he stopped…?_

"Al, are you sure…"

Al grabbed his brother's shoulders and shoved him off. Then, as the older rolled over, pain and hurt written on his face, Al followed. Eagerly, his hands sought Ed's pants, and he found them. Undoing the button and pulling them off, he didn't pause before he leaned forward and took Ed in his mouth.

"Al! Are-aaaaaahhh…" Ed's startled exclamation trailed off into a long moan as Al licked him carefully and experimentally. His caresses became bolder as he heard his brother's moans.

Ed writhed as he felt the pressure building in him, a dam of boiling heat that threatened to break at any second.

Feeling his shudders, Al lifted his head. "Don't be so nervous, brother."

"Ah, don't stop! I'm not…" The older teenager cried out as he felt the warmth of Al's mouth leave him. Obediently, Al kissed up and down again, and Ed groaned in relief.

Then Al carefully lifted his lips away. Against Ed's protest, he replaced his lips with his fingers, curling around and replacing the warmth. He carefully moved them up and down. He had sometimes seen Ed do this, late at night when he thought Al was asleep. Since he'd regained his body, Al had had to use it himself a couple of times. The movement was unpractised and slightly clumsy, but Ed was long past caring.

Despite Al's inexpert motions, pressure once again built. Al felt his own groin tightening as the Ed moved against him.

Then suddenly the dam broke, and Ed jerked hard, a cry sliding past his lips. Milky fluid dripped onto his stomach. Al smiled, happy that he'd managed to make his brother climax. Slowly, he leaned forward and touched the fluid, finding it slightly sticky. Lifting his finger to his mouth, he carefully tasted it. It was bittersweet and vaguely musky.

Ed lay limp on the grass, waves of pleasure still surging through him. Then there was a touch on his stomach, where it was still sticky. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw Al lift his finger to his lips and lick.

"Good?" Ed could barely get the word out, and his voice was still husky with reaction, and he levered himself up to his elbows. Al looked down, and nodded. Ed smiled, glad that his brother found something enjoyable. Then the effort grew too great, and he slumped back on the grass.

"Ed?" Al lay down beside his brother, and slipped his own pants off. Pressing himself close against his brother's side, he stroked Ed, hoping that his brother would respond, and perhaps touch him in return.

_Then again, there was what those books had shown…_ As he saw Ed begin to harden again, he sat up, pulling the older teenager into his lap, cradling him across his legs. The warm weight of Ed caused the throbbing in his groin to deepen.

He let one hand continue to stroke and soothe Ed, sliding the other across his stomach, letting the stickiness coat his fingers. Then he lowered them, cupping them around Ed's buttock, and beginning to explore.

Ed jerked slightly as he let one finger slide inside. "Is this… alright?" Al asked, hoping that Ed's reaction hadn't meant that it hurt.

"No, it's… good," replied Ed, sounding somewhat surprised. Emboldened, Al moved his hand around, and was rewarded with a deep groan.

Carefully, Al slid the finger out, and, hesitantly, slid another in to join it. Continuing to stroke Ed, he slid his fingers in and out, remembering what the books had shown. Ed's moans deepened, and he pushed harder.

"Al… I think… I want… more…" Ed's words were stuttering, punctuated by moans.

Al started slightly, his hands stopping as he asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes… please, just… keep going…"

Al did as instructed, keeping his hands moving as he turned Ed around, his brother's back against his own chest. Then he slid his fingers out of Ed, smearing some of the sticky fluid on himself. The touch of his own fingers on the sensitive shaft sent a shiver through him.

There was another long pause, and he positioned himself, ready. Halting his other hand's movement, Al slid his chin over Ed's shoulder, whispering in his ear, "Are you sure?"

_I don't want to hurt him, and the books said…_

"Ah… yes… just hurry up… touch me more!" Ed's voice was impatient.

In a single, hard movement, Al entered.

Ed gave sound halfway between a gasp and a scream. Al began to pull out, but as he did, Ed's voice demanded, somewhat weakly, "Touch me." Complying, he felt Ed's muscles contract around him, and he gasped as they sent shudders of pleasure darting through his body.

Involuntarily, he thrust inwards, trying to gain the source. Ed gasped again, and Al's hand grasped at him tighter, squeezing and stroking the tender flesh.

As he touched Ed, the other's muscles gripped hard around him, and a deep rush of heat filled Al. As he thrust inwards again, pressure began to build up. Urgent now, his hand and body moved in time.

Then, with a cry, Ed pitched forwards onto his hands and knees, shuddering as he had earlier. His inner muscles contracted hard, dragging in Al's thrust. Half-aware, Al realised that his brother had climaxed again.

His own heat was of more concern. He was on the brink, so close and yet so far. He thrust harder and faster, and as the aftershocks made Ed contract in rhythmic waves, he was pulled over the edge.

An incredible flare of heat filled him, and bliss rolled through him, wiping away all thought and feeling except that of pleasure.

Oblivion was a blinding blast of ecstasy.

---

Al collapsed, spent, onto the grass. Waves of heat still washed him, and he barely felt Ed fall beside him.

He didn't know how long after it was that a deep sigh of contentment found its way out of him. He had never felt such ecstasy before, and he had never felt so close to his brother before.

Ed's question, "What is it?" barely made it to his brain, and he looked down at the older teenager, who was resting his head on Al's chest.

"Mmm. Don't know," replied Al, a delicious lethargy beginning to dull his senses. He was aware of only Ed.

"I'm glad we did this," said Ed, a wide smile on his face. Wriggling up beside his brother, he planted a kiss on his lips, then snuggled down so that his head rested comfortably in the hollow of Al's shoulder.

Lethargically, Al sighed in agreement. "Me too. Try as I might, I couldn't get this out of my head."

"Me either," confessed the elder, snuggling into his brother's embrace and beginning to drift off. Al gently stroked his brother's golden hair, and watched until the equally golden eyes closed, then let himself fall into sleep.

The sun was warm as it reached its zenith, and it smiled down on the entangled pair.


End file.
